in a month's time i will be gone. I can hardly believe it and I feel sadness so much more than excitement. I know I have a lot going for me and I should be thankful for this chance to go overseas and even go overseas without using my parents' money but the thought of me leaving behind so many people saddens and engulfs me.

I never really wanted to go overseas as badly as some of my friends and it was only in jc that the thought ever seriously crossed my mind and now I can hardly believe that I am flying off and staying there for 3 long years. I feel like it is a necessary part of my growth and I need to spend some time away from my family and learn to be independent. I know that it will not be easy and in fact i can foresee myself being really gloomy everyday for perhaps a month.

I will miss Douglas a lot. I already miss him so much after spending his block leave with him and no matter how much facebook/skype we can do with each other I think nothing beats having him next to me for me to talk to and whack. I really will miss him a lot. I will miss the love and concern my family showers on me although I am often impatient with the way i speak to them. I can't imagine living alone without their naggy voices yelling at me to hurry up and nagging at me for my bad habit of being perpetually late. I will miss my sister coming to my room every 10 minutes disturbing me about something of no importance and I will miss seeing her fall asleep on my bed every time she crashes on it.

SIGHS. I know i shouldn't be whining and complaining about my "predicament" but I really can't help but feel sad that I am leaving so very soon. I wish time could come to a stand still now ):

okay not coherent cant really think but ahhhh one month's time!!!